hasrat

shegefta , vaghti ke bood nemididam , vaghti mikhand nemishenidam
vaghti didam ke nabod
vaghti shenidam ke nakhand
che ghamangiz ast vaght i cheshme e sard o zolal dar barabarat mikhand o mijoshad o minalad ,,,,,, to teshne ye atash bashi va na aab ,,
va bad ke cheshme khoshkid , cheshme ke az aan to teshneyeh aan bodi bokhar shod o be hava raft
to teshne ye aab gardi va na atash
va bad
omri godakhtan az gham e nabodan
kasi ke ta bood az gham e nabodan e to migodakht.

neveshte e az bamdad

راستش موضوع زندگي و مرگ را من سال ها است كه براي خودم حل كرده ام و با هيچ كدام مساله ئي ندارم . انسان كاملا برحسب تصادف به دنيا مي آيد اما مرگش حتمي است . و همين مقدر بودن مرگ است كه به زندگي معني مي دهد. انساني كه دانسته زيسته و لحظه به لحظه عمرش معني داشته آبروي جامعه ، پشتوانه سربلندي ، و بخشي از تاريخ يك ملت است حتي هنگامي كه محيط او به درستي دركش نكند. من به خاموشي تقديري جسم او اشك نمي ريزم . حضورش حرمت آموخت و لاجرم غيابش به اين حرمت ابعاد افسانه ئي مي بخشد."

احمد شاملو،

salmarge bamdad

emrooz 5sal az marge kasi gozasht ke nasle pedarha,baradarha va ma vamdare onim.kasi ke tafakori nab dasht,kasi ke ghalami ziba dasht.
yadash gerami,rohash shad

kavir shodan(1)

in shoro dastane ye pesar bache ast ke tabdil shode be yek kavir.
sedaye sayeshe mikh batakhte.....,seadye be ham khordane lenge panjeha....,sedaye jiro jire gamhaye mahigire pir,bar kafposhe chobie farsode....,sedaye zozeye bad,dar loleye bokhari....,sedaye barkhorde silivare mojha be goneye sahel....,sedaye naleye parndegan az ghame tanhae....,va sedaye chek cheke ghatarate baran dar zarfe mesye kafe kolbe....,avahaye tanhae man.
hich nori nist...inja tarikie motlagh ast,
gah ehsas,jariane khon dar raghayam ra monker mishavad.
gah hes mikonam ke morghane sepide dariae,agah az tapeshe ghalbe sange sahele daria,omre khoda ra vaghfe shomareshe akharian zarabane hayate an mikonand.....
obori nist....inja noghteye sefre zaman ast....
kash andaki az kodorate delahaye gerefteye abrhaye aseman kam mishod,ta chobhaye namnake kolbeye hghire man,lezate hamaghoshy ba panjehaye garme o talae'e hore pak ra tajrobe konand....
kash vojodam yaraye in bod ta bar balabolande paste in khak dar peye hamsohbaty baraye dele tang o asire khod basham....,
gah miandisham zendegie manfaghat dar bal'idane tabasomhaye talkh o noshidane sokote zahragine mahigire pir mani shode ast....
gah miandisham ke in donia yani;asemane hamvare abri...saheli barani...mahigiri pir ba kole bari az matame gozashte ast o man..........
hatta daneye gole sorkhy ke dar baghcheye kochke poshte kolbe'am kashte bodam sar az khak bar nayavard ta hamdame tanhae va ghorbate man bashad.....
bi shak ghatarate baran az talkhi o viranie man ba o sokhan gofte bodandand va o ra az istae'ie zendegie man bim dade bodand....
vali na.....!hanoz amvaje daria ba goneye latife sahel,birahmane sili minavazand....,hanoz az parandegane sepide masom shoreshgare gozare omre khishand o abrha,osiangar,bar sarneveshte khish miger'yand....pas zendegi hanooz edame darad.....
shayad in fahgt TAVAHOMI az zendegist.....
hengame baresahe baran....vaghty ghatarat masomane,bar dare nime baze kholbeye haghire man mikoband,ba khod miandisham ke shayad kasi sorghy az man-in tanhaye hamishegi-gerefte ast,moshtaghane khod ra bar astaneie dar miresanam....,afsos ke mamnade hamishe dar eshtebah bode'am,va in nava chizi joz sorode hozne bad o baran-baraye man o kolbe'am-nabode.......
pashiman az pendare khosh bavaraneye khish dar konji az kolbe-anja ke hanooz ghataratre baran rekhne e baraye vorod be kolbe peyda nakarde'and.,mineshinam o ba khod miandisham.....
kash ayene'e dashtam....ta rokhe khod ra dar an nezare konam....ta be khod....be felakat o hegharate khod rishkhandy bezanam.....ta shayad tabasomi az sare nachari be lab aram.....va ba an az tanhae o ozlate khod bekaham....
ham sohbaty nist....inja tanhae o sokote motlagh ast.
morghane sepide ma'some daria ra neda midaham o moltamesane,hamsohbaty ba anan ra khastar mishavam...afsos ke bi anke javabi beshnavam,parvaz mikonand....,va mara tanhatar az hamishe be daria miseparand.....hich chizi nist....,inja tarikie motlagh ast o noghteye sokon o tanhae o sokot
m.f

neveshte e az kavir

IN HAMEYE NEVESHTEHAYE MAN NIST,shayad bakhshy kochik az neveshtehaye man bashe.minevisam,vali na baraye shoma ke faghat khanandeye in neveshteha hastid,balke baraye on kasi ke to lahze lahzeye shekl gereftane in sotor ba man bood.baraye on kasi ke hamishe khodesh o yadesh baese neveshtan mishe."hatman midoni ke emrooz che roozie?yadete che etefaghy oftad?midonam ke khob midoni,chon hameye in etefagha ma'lole on rooz bode,age on etefaghe kazae nayoftade bod alan na man injoori(motefavetar az hamishe) bodam o na to in neveshteha ro mikhondy.mikham benevisam.midoni ke harfam,faryadam,gerieam,hameye chizae ke baraye ebraz daram to neveshtanam kholase mishe.ino az khodet yad gereftam ke kam harf basham(behtarin goftego kamtarin harfo to khodesh dare).minevisam ta behet begam to hameye on lahzehae ke zare zareye shenham to gerdab o tofan az ham joda mishodan in to body ke sarsakhty ro be man yad dady,to on lahzehae ke khoshke khoshk shode bodam in to body ke ba taravat bodan ro be man yad dady,to on lahzehae ke hich kasi jorate kochektarin shokhi kardan ba man ro nadasht to mano be sokhre gerefty ta be man neshon bedy ke kojaye raftaram eshtebah bode.are!minevisam ta azat babate hameye eshtebahatam mazerat bekham,babate hameye harfaye bija,babate hamye harekate eshtebah babate hame chiz.minevisam ta be yadet biaram ke che chizae gofty o che karae kardy.minevisam ta faramosh nakoni ke on rooze bahari che harfae zadim o che gholi dadim,minevisam ta faramosh nakonam to on roozhae ke haji bastari bod to tanha kasi body ke be man komak kardy.chand shab pish dashtam ba kasi sohbat mikardam,bahs be dost va dosty kardan keshide shod,man barash-dar morede khodam- ye mesal zadam.goftam:((man vojody daram mesle kavir(garm o sakht)to negahe aval zesht o bifayede be nazar miresam,hich kasi in risko nemikone ke biad o garmaye bi hadde mano tahamol kone,hich kas jorate dargiri ba in garma ro nadare,ghabol daram ke sakht o tahamol nashodani be nazar miam,vali ino midonam age kasi biad o in risko bekone ke pa to in vojod-e bezaher sakht o tahamol nashodani-bezare,inghadr chizhaye ghashang mibine ke dige khiale biron raftan ham be saresh nemizane.))on porsid:ta hala chand nafar pa to in vojodet gozashtan?goftam:ye chand nafari mishan,vali az onha ham baziashon to chand ghadame aval mondan,chon liaghate jolotar omadan ro nadashtan,az on chand nafar faghat 2nafar jolo omadan...... .porsid:ta koja?in kavir hadde payani ham dare?javab dadam:are,hadde payani ham to in kavir vojod dare,ye jae to ghalbe in kavir hast ke meslesh hatta to sarsabztarin noghteye donia ham peyda nemishe.age kasi betone sakhtyhaye avayele kavir ro tahamol kone,residan be in noghte barash kari nadare.porsid:az on 2nafar kodomeshon be in noghte residan?goftam:felan hich kodemeshon,yekishon bargashte o be on noghte posht karde,on yeki ham shak karde o hamon vasat vaisade.midoni yeki az on 2nafar to hasty,vali kodomeshon,khodam ham nemidonam,oni ke shak karde ya oni ke posht karde?age to fahmidy kodomeshoni be man ham begoo."

dobare minevisam

chand vaghtye ke chizi naneveshtam,dalilesham ziad mohem nist,felan ke daram minevisam,to in chand vaghte ke nemineveshtam etefaghaye ziady oftade,etefaghaye goftanio nagoftani.etefahgae ke baes shodan be kaviri bodanam bishtar eteghad peyda konam.az on donia ke khase man bod,chize ziady namonde,SETARE ke rafte o dige nayomade,har chand rooz ye dafe miado labkhandy mizane o mire,on dige be in asemon barnemigarde,hagh ham dare,akhe to in asemone kaviri chi hast ke biad o bahash shad beshe,hamon behtar ke nayado narahat nashe,chon be andazeye kafi khodesh narahaty dare,are!!behtar ke har chand rooz ye bar az ham khabar begirim,intory kheili behtare-albate baraye setare-.KARKASha ham ke shokre khoda dige nemian inja,chand vaghtye ke to in asemon sedaye jighashon nemiad,bad az akharin tofan dige invara nayomadan.midonid,ye rooz tofane shadidy rah oftad o az on rooz dige na karkasi didam na sedae az ona shenidam,kheili behtar shod-indafe baraye man-.az on donia faghat man mondamo ye dost,BAROON.baroon ham taghriban az in donia rafte,nemidonam chera,vali kheili vaghte ke nabaride,baridani ke tane tafdideye kavir ro khonak kone,ye bande khodae migoft:((baroon dige invara nemiad,rafte ye jaye dige o dare mibare,on dige to in donia barnemigarde.))nemidonam on bandeye khoda rast goft ya na,vali vaghty az BAROON porsidam goft:((to doa kon,moshkele barun hal beshe,hatman mibare.))vaghty in javabo dad chize dige e nagoftam,ghabol kardam ke sabr konam ta bebare.vali yadam raft behesh begam:((in moshkeli ke dari chie?in che moshkelie ke halnashodani shode?age moshkeli hast be man ham begoo,shayad betonam komaki konam-shayad ke na hataman mitonam-in haghe mane ke bedonam che moshkeli baraye u vojod dare ke in joor dare aziatet mikone,in che moshkelie ke ghabele hal nist,ino bedon har moshkeli ba hamfekri ghabele halle-hatta moshkele rohi-))
kholase az on donia chizi joz haleye meh manande setare o khatereye karkasha o shoghe baridane baroon namode.
kheili vaghte dige baroon nazade
atre nam be in khiabon nazade
kheili vaghte abri par par nashode
dele asemon saboktar nashode
.........................
m.f